I woke up at 10, but didn’t get up til 11. Today was supposed to be the day of cookies, but I feel like everything is just falling apart lately. I went downstairs to have breakfast and see what the plan was. Sigrid fussed over me a lot, refusing to let me have cereal when that’s what I said I wanted to eat. She remarked, “oh come on, that’s no breakfast.” So instead I had to eat eggs and toast. The eggs were kind of scary. They were hard boiled, but the “whites” were an odd gray blue color. The yolks were bright yellow, and it didn’t smell bad, so I went ahead and ate my 2 scary eggs, but I had to kind of not think about the odd coloring.
After breakfast Siggy called to try to figure out the deal for today. She mentioned that she was bringing her boyfriend, Santiago, and this really upset Sigrid. She said that she couldn’t possibly feed so many people for lunch, and if her boyfriend came we’d have to make something more special than what she’d already planned. She also said that making the cookies isn’t fun, it’s work.
Personally I don’t know why she’s so surprised. I was there when Siggy and Sigrid first decided that they would be starting the cookies this Saturday, specifically so that Santiago could also come and help. So now I’m just waiting for Siggy to come so we can work out exactly what is going to happen.
When Siggy stopped by, she brought two dresses over for me to try on. They are both very bright. The one from her is bright fuschia, and the one from her mom is bright fuschia and orange silk. Both were too tight toward the top once I tried to zip them. She and I are invited to a wedding today, and I guess she actually would like to go. It’s so funny because I briefly thought about bringing my black formal dress, but I really thought I wouldn’t need it. Now of course I wish it were here. *sigh*
I decided to go for a walk because it was decided that Siggy would come back after lunch to help make the cookie dough. I walked to the lake, around it once, and back. This took almost an hour, and when I returned it was a little after 2:30, the time that I’d said I’d return. All my aunt said to me was, “oh, you’re so late.” I didn’t really know what to respond to that, so I was like, “uh huh.” I wasn’t sorry so I didn’t apologize. As I walked into another room she said, “I was just joking, I wasn’t actually angry.” So I said back to her, “ok.” I personally don’t find that kind of joking very funny, especially when you can’t distinguish the difference by the tone of the person’s voice.
Then we had lunch. It was ok, but Sigrid is always making a fuss about what I eat. She told me to take all the potatoes. There were 3 largish pieces of potato left, and I’d only taken 2. Luckily she can’t see very well, so when she checked, she thought I had indeed taken all 3. Sigh. She has it in her head that I “always eat so much” which isn’t at all true. Sometimes I eat more, sometimes I eat less, but it’s like if I don’t eat enough to satisfy her tastes, she thinks something is wrong. Anyway, it’s just a minor frustration I’ve been dealing with.
After lunch I called Siggy about the dresses, and told her that they didn’t fit. She said she was going to call her friend and arrange some other options, and that she’d have her friend call me. I wasn’t sure when that might be, so I decided to lie down for a while, then I fell asleep. I woke up when Siggy did indeed return, at about 5:30.
The thing that annoys me most of all about days like today and yesterday when things just kind of fall through, is that it means a day wasted for me. I’m there, I’m on time, I’m waiting. I could have gone to the Bazaar de Sabado like I’ve been wanting to for the past few weeks. I could have actually gone and done something new. But instead, I sit and wait at home, expecting that at any minute things are going to get going, but they are always pushed back.
After Siggy finally arrived, I guess I snoozed for another 1/2 hour before I got up. By that time they were totally done with everything. Great. I waited all day for absolutely nothing.
To add insult to injury, we’re not going to the wedding after all. She has the most legitimate reason not to go–a father of one of her friend’s died today and she has to go to the funeral. Ok, these things happen. So I called Chucho who last night had invited me to see an friend’s band play tonight. Originally he’d offered to pick me up, but now the band’s car broke down, so he’s taking them and all their stuff to the show. There was some vague reference that another friend of ours is going, and he said that he’d message me with his phone number, but I’ve yet to receive a message from him. He finished our conversation saying that he’d call me in 2 hours. Great. I get to wait another 2 hours to see if anything is actually going to happen.
I decided to go to Starbucks, instead of just sitting around waiting for something. When Chucho finally got in touch with me, he said that he would pick me up, but I told him that afterall, I just didn’t want to go out.
I stayed at Starbucks until it closed. I was the last one there.
I drove home, and parked in front of the house for a while. I didn’t want to go inside yet. At home when I feel somewhat melancholy, I like to just drive around, maybe go somewhere remote and just sit by myself for a while.
But I’m in Mexico City, which is very different than the area where I live. Green-space is scarce, and somewhat scary at night. Not a place you want to hang out by yourself at night. But I wanted to be around plants for some reason.
Since I just wanted to go somewhere, without a specific destination in mind, I started driving. I remembered that Siggy had said that the lights at the Zocalo are great because it’s still decorated for the Independence day, so I headed down Reforma. As I came near the Angel statue I passed by an outdoor festival of plants and flowers. In full swing, even at 10:30 at night. I found my green space, even if it was the urban version!
After I’d meandered up and down the aisles a few times on either side of the street, I considered walking across the busy traffic circle to sit on the steps of the Angel of Victory statue, but instead I headed back to my car. I had in mind to continue down to the Zocalo, as was my original intent. Somewhere I must have missed a turn because I was suddenly in an area that I didn’t recognize at all. The neighborhoods were getting shabbier. The smells were getting worse. The trash was getting more plentiful. The puestos that were lining the streets were getting more and more ramshackle.
I didn’t immediately panic. I figured I’d just go back the way I came and follow the signs to the Zocalo, or to Lomas, or to Periferico, and that then I’d be ok. I saw a sign for the Zocalo, so I turned down the street. I felt somewhat smug at my Mexican street smarts, until I ran out of signs pointing me to the Zocalo. Again I was driving in unfamiliar territory. The first wave of panic washed over me, but I reasoned it back, and held it at bay for a while.
I saw a sign for Insurgentes, a familiar name that I sort of knew would eventually lead me to somewhere that I would recognize. But I guess I got on it in the wrong direction, if I got on it at all. Street signs in Mexico city can be scarce at times. The road suddenly turned into more of a highway with tunnels, 4 lanes, and exits to places I’d never even heard of. I didn’t really know what to do, so I just kept driving, hoping to eventually find a place to turn around, or find a place with a familiar name.
I was driving fast and getting hot with the panic that was taking full, firm control over my level headed reasoning.
Eventually I found a place with a familiar name. “Pyramides de Teotihuacan” which incidentally is waaaay outside of the city, and you need to go through several toll booths to get there. I was driving in the right lane, but I spotted a U-turn to the left, so I pulled a fancy/stupid maneuver to get to it just in time.
Headed back to the city, I felt a bit better. A bit less panicky. I saw a sign for Chapultepec and I felt even better. That’s right in my neighborhood! But my night wasn’t over. I wove in and out of local lanes and the highway, trying to figure out where exactly to go to get to the “Chapultepec” exit that several conflicting signs promised. I ended up in another quiet, not so savory and equally unfamiliar section of town. At this point I wasn’t even panicky, I was just pissed off. Pissed off at the crappy signage in the city, pissed off at other cars on the road, pissed of that it was night time and getting later all the time, pissed off that I was still so unfamiliar, even when theoretically so close to my neighborhood. So I made another U-turn, took a right down and unmarked lane, and suddenly, with no fan fare, no fireworks, no drum roll, I was back on Reforma in the direction of Lomas.
Sigh.
All the panic, all the hotness, all the frustration, all the desperation and pissed off feelings faded away in an instant. I knew where I was! I’d be home and in bed in a matter of minutes. And I was. Whenever I told anyone what I ended up doing that night, I just said, “oh, I went to Starbucks and worked on some stuff.” I figure what they don’t know won’t harm them, and I wouldn’t want to worry them unnecessarily. 